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This Is What Would Happen If Pitbull Ran Miami (You’d Want To Go)

His nickname refers to its area code. He’s held the key to the city for years. But what would happen if Armando Christian Perez, better known as Pitbull, were put in charge of his native Miami?

Fans of the spicy singer/rapper may get a taste of Pitbull’s favorites soon, as “Mr. Worldwide” was recently named an ambassador for Visit Florida, the state’s tourism group. But while we wait, here’s what would happen if “Mr. 305” is put in charge of making sure the party never stops in his hometown.

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“Globalization”

With warm weather and famous sightseeing and people watching at its beaches and hotel poolside lounges, Miami might actually be too beautiful to be a rabid sports town. No longer. With the help of “International Love” and with support for sometime-collaborator Shakira, Mr. Worldwide scores the coveted World Cup for his city, one of the first under FIFA’s new leadership and one that cements Miami’s location as a melting pot of cultures.

The event helps drive interest in the city’s still-young MLS team, owned by icon David Beckham, and for the city’s up-and-coming baseball and football franchises. As part of World Cup: Miami, Pitbull hosts a two-week non-stop party across the city anchored around the Fontainebleau Miami Beach’s half-dozen pools.

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The arts shake it

A longtime fan of dancers who can move their bodies like magic, Pitbull takes on the arts in new mediums after showing a special interest in classic movies like Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, which he references in “Shake Senora.” The Miami Symphony Orchestra experiments with using the prompt “Dale” as a companion to a conductor’s baton.

At theaters like the GableStage at the iconic Biltmore Hotel and the rotating fare of the City Theatre, tourists get the chance to see Shakespeare told through Latin hip-hop as Pitbull takes visitors “Back in Time.”

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Climate hero

Pitbull gets climate change—he even named a 2012 album “Global Warming” to acknowledge the shifts in temperatures and sea levels around the globe. So with some reports warning that Miami could face major flooding crises in the not so distant future, Pitbull would be the first local leader to really take an active role on the climate.

“Shut it down.” The classic Pitbull single becomes the cornerstone of a new energy-efficient approach for Miami, with the city’s fleet of designer Tesla autonomous cars transforming downtown taxi rides into a unique entertainment circuit with installations from the Art Basel show each December and room service—another subject dear to the city’s guardian—from a consortium of leading hotels such as the Setai and the Mondrian. The Calle Ocho-Miami Carnival includes a celebration of the engineering project Pitbull successfully funds to protect Little Havana from rising sea levels.

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And ever sensitive to the heat, Pitbull introduces a water-absorption system called “Sticky Icky” to handle flooding, developed originally for his own perspiration during concerts.

Eventually, Miami challenges New York City as host of the nation’s leading New Year’s Eve party. Mr. Worldwide performs with guest stars from around the world, who fly in for the megawatt broadcast live from the 305.

 

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